Winter Solstice

you red shifting bastard

how did we get here

how did I allow you

me the two of us

to spit into this vortex 

as if seduction were not enough

we parse ourselves too ungenerous to give 

to unaccustomed to receive

my need for the curve of you to call home

my need for your words of love

nothing but contrails and the full moon rises

December

the if onlys crushed after the frost

every leaf will crumble

every rose will crumble at your touch

winter solstice will come alone

and that will be the best of  it

a long time ago my lover and I

hiked through the snow for foxfire

 solstice

solstice again first light

at last

if I said I have lived more lives than you

it would be true

if I said you have fucked more women than me

it would be true

if I said I wanted you to love me

beyond the bounds of reason

because I am alone

it would be true

not enough

even skating the razor of proof

mistletoe is a parasite you know

we find it when the trees lose their leaves

it's true nature revealed

I cannot say but shit we fucked like electrons

in a super collider

orgasms spilling quarks to the universe

apparently that was not enough

for you