Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Sansa's Confession Part 2 Conversation on the Battlements

Sansa's Confession
“The only prayer I know is you.”
Sansa caught her breath stunned by the pounding in her heart. Somehow this was what she longed to hear. She had wanted words like this all her life from someone who would love her without need for alliances or politics. Without hesitation over her past. Someone who would love her regardless of everything that had shamed her. And she was hearing these words from her half brother. Wish that the gods would strike her dead now, so she would have at least one moment of happiness, since they rode away from Winterfell, so long ago.
In the cold and snow today, she remembered watching Jon walk down the steps at Castle Black and she thought, Never… never has anyone come to me with open arms. Never was I willing to run into those arms and be held forever until now. Would that he could hold me and the past disappear, if I closed my eyes and heard only his breath. Please, don't let me go. Jon, don't ever let me go. At that moment with the snow falling around us, I knew that winter would arrive soon. I knew that if there was anyone in this world I should trust, that I could give my soul to, what little I still had left, it would be Jon. I didn't know how to say it then. Words fail me still.  My brother, my brother, only half my blood. Blood of my father, blood of the Kings of Winter. Even as children, I knew there was good in him, no matter what they said about bastards. I was so young. He was never mine. Jon belonged to Robb and Arya. Now the man I see beside me, the man who made me Lady of Winterfell, the man who is King in the North; he is a true Stark. Does the last name even matter? How many have I had? Stark, Lannister, Bolton, and Stark again. Imagine the cycle of the moon, it begins and ends repeating the same over and over.  He is as true a man as I could ever wish for, to stand beside me. There is no one who could rule the North save Jon. I don't know how to tell him that I am proud to stand beside him as Lady of Winterfell. If this is wrong, by the gods, perhaps it is true we have lived beyond the gods. Perhaps, it is my wishful thinking.  Every time our eyes meet, he holds my gaze trying to tell me what is in his heart. I know he cannot because he feels the same. Do we both want what we should not have? There are no other Starks. Rickon is dead. Our baby brother, I can remember Jon bouncing him on his knee. All I wish, with all my tears, is that one day I will hear laughter again in Winterfell. A child's laughter in the solar and I will turn to see Jon bouncing our own son on his knee.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Jon's Confession Conversation On The Battlements

Jon's Confession
 Snow was falling as Jon and Sansa walked out onto the high battlements of Winterfell to talk. It was freezing, but this was the only place to talk in confidence. It was also home, where they had run along these ramparts as children. Jon hoped this would give him courage to really speak to her. Snowflakes were starting to gather on Sansa's hair and eyelashes. Jon wanted to reach up and brush them away, but he was sure that neither of them were ready for that.
“Sansa, I want to tell you something. I’m not good with words that aren’t orders. Please understand.”
“Jon, of course, what is it?”
“When we were discussing the battle with Ramsey, I promised to protect you. You said "No one could protect you." When you said that something inside me began to twist into a knot. I’d like to say something like…… it broke my heart but, it was a tightness not a shattering.”
“I didn’t say it to hurt you. I was so afraid. I couldn’t go back to Ramsey.”
“I wanted to tell you that I would tear him apart for you. I would stand against him with no armies behind me. For you. I was determined to take back Winterfell and hand it to you. Just to see a small bit of happiness return to your eyes.”
“I wanted our home back. Ramsey was a monster. I wanted to pray but I think I have forgotten how.”
“The only prayer I know is you.”
There was so much more he wanted to say. It just wouldn’t come. He was hesitant, wondering how this new mix of feelings might sound to Sansa. Instead it ran over and over in his head as they stood there quietly watching the snow…….

 

“Sansa, you are my Winterfell. When I drew my sword, it was for you. Each man I killed was for you. Breaching the gate, was for you. I might have pounded Ramsey to a bloody pulp over you. But, he didn’t belong to me to kill. Father said “The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.” He was yours to do with as you pleased. So I stopped, before I killed him in my rage for every pain he caused you.
This is all for you. Unfurl every banner, hang the Direwolf high. I would rebuild every wall, stone by stone with my bare hands for you. I will restore every keep and place a fire in every hearth so you never feel the cold again. I wish it possible to turn back the moons and fix our histories. Our family should never have left. But, that was not our fate.
I ask you again, to accept my promise to keep you safe.  No man will ever touch you without your consent. You don’t even realize what you are to me. You are my home. You are my life now. Standing here with you is a dream, I never thought would come true. I beg you to trust me, as your brother, your sworn sword and as the one who lives for your every smile, your every look.
Why did I even come back? I don’t know. But when you arrived at Castle Black, I knew where my future lay. With you. I will not leave you. You hold my heart in your hands. I know not the future nor will I try to predict. For this perfect moment know that I am yours, however you shall have me. I stand here with the Lady of Winterfell. Let it be known, the Bastard of Winterfell has taken back their home for his Lady.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Your Dragon Ate My Snowflake!

This is a great use of a television show to stimulate writing. Take your two favorite characters, put them in an alternate universe. Shake it up and see what happens. This is only the first chapter. Also available on Archive Of Our Own. AO3. http://archiveofourown.org/works/10130150
Chapter One
Sansa was trying to envision the theme for her senior project as she drove home from the Fashion Institute of Kings Landing. She was running options in her head.
Ok, let me think. Danny will of course, go tribal chic. All sensual, but tasteful. And I can depend on Margaery to go absurdly floral and overtly sexual. Maybe, I need to do something else?  Something a little different from my usual White Goth approach. Arya would say man tailoring and sharp edges. I guess I can add some metallic element to my theme. Mother would say that I should stay true to myself. I probably should stay true to my instincts. Keep with the Northern white and range my greys into midnight blue and perhaps go with a metallic blue and keep my highlight color red like the leave on the heart tree. Hum… I wonder, could I do a heart or Weirwood motif without looking craftsy???
As Sansa was driving along, she decided to get a head start on everybody and stop by Cersei’s Fabric Importers, the biggest and best in town just to see if anything there would give her an extra spark. Yes, that’s what Tim Gunn would do.
He might take an exploratory tour of fabrics before making a final decisionWouldn’t he? Or was that cheating? This is my senior project, my own Project Runway!
When making fashion decisions, she often thought of Tim Gunn from Project Runway. He was the epitome of class. Tim Gunn was Professor Lannister's absolute idol. Sometimes, Sansa even had to laugh when he would show up in a smug little Tim Gunn bowtie with an impeccable pocket square and perfect hair. Sansa made up her mind and took the left into downtown Kings Landing heading toward Cersei's Fabrics. All she had to do was find a parking space. It was late afternoon and there were people rushing everywhere. People leaving their offices, shopping on their way home, and millennials getting an early start on the evening. Much to her surprise as she circled around the block for the second time she spied an open parking space. This was it! Good Karma. Thank you Tim!
She was aiming directly at the parking space and intended to steer forward and just swoop into the space.  She really hated parallel parking and the spot looked big enough. Sansa knew her white Fiat was exactly small enough to slide right into that spot. The sound of dual exhausts made Sansa look up just as a massive black Jeep started to barrel backwards paralleling into the same parking space. Seven Hells! They can't see me. I'm so low to the ground and that Jeep is totally jacked up. The huge spare tire of the Jeep crushed down onto the hood of Sansa’s 500X before she could even stop.
“No!” she screamed. “Not my Snowflake! She’s new.”
Sansa was too shocked to move, besides being pissed off at whoever this person was. Big Jeep and all that. She was going to lay them out. Sansa could feel her heart speed up and she flushed with anger.
“Hey, didn’t you see me!” she yelled. “I was half in the spot!”
The door of the jeep didn't even open but, she saw a figure vault through the open top and come running back toward her car. It was like 3-D in slow-motion. A young man dressed in black dress pants, white shirt with sleeves rolled up, buttons unbuttoned, and his tie askew.  Sansa’s window was open and she heard him cursing and talking to himself as he ran toward her car.
“Seven Hells! I didn't even see you. I was too lost in my head. I am so, so sorry! I think I've totally crushed your car. Yeah, of course my day would end like this.”  He muttered to himself. “Just one more issue.”
“Look, I don’t really give a shit about your day. You just screwed my day up royally! What about my car?” she spat back at him through the window.
“Let me get you out of the car at least, the door might be jammed.”
“I can get out on my own. Thank you, very much!”
Sansa tried the handle. It turned but the door wouldn’t budge. She pushed at it with her shoulder. She tried again harder.  She thought about kicking it.
“It obviously won’t open. Please let me help you.” He demanded politely.
He reached into the car for the handle, his hand accidently grazing Sansa’s knee. Then he took a deep breath and yanked the door open. He extended a hand to her to help her out of the car and then began his pleading again.
“I am so beyond sorry.  My day has just been running from bad to worse and now this. Please. Please let me take care of this.”
Their eyes fully locked on each other for the first time. Sansa stood there in awe of his amazing good looks and obvious civility. Strong too. He pulled the door open and didn’t even break a sweat.  If I'm going to be in an accident, at least it's with someone super cute.
“Please miss, let me take care of this. Oh, by the way my name is Jon.” he continued.
“My name is Sansa, thank you for the extrication……”
Before she could get another word out, he pulled out his phone and asked Siri to call the closest towing company.
“Don’t worry. This was totally my fault. Totally. My insurance will pay for this.”
Neither of them realized that he was still holding her hand. They were standing so close that she could smell his cologne. It was Terre D’ Hermès. He’s pricey. I’m impressed. Jon looked down at her hand and then up again into her eyes. She was still flustered and her cheeks were flushed pink. He smiled cautiously.
“Please excuse me again for my stupidity and my rash behavior. Are you all right?” he said as he dropped her hand.
“I’m fine, but my Snowflake…. I mean my car.” She answered calmly, surprised that she wasn’t yelling at this guy.
He ran one of his hands through his hair only to catch his fingers in his man bun which he frustratedly ripped out letting the hair elastic fly so that he could just scratch his head. A full head of black curls shook loose.
“Seven Hells!” he muttered. “Shit. I can't believe I did this.”
A couple of minutes ago Sansa was ready to scream at the occupant of the Jeep. Instead to her surprise, she found herself about to say something comforting to him.
“Look it wasn't totally your fault. I had a million things on my mind. My head was totally somewhere else. When I saw the parking spot, I kind of nosedived in before really looking up. Please, please don't take it so seriously. It’s only a car. Cars can get fixed. I’m not hurt. You’re not hurt. It’s all OK.”
“I still can't believe how irresponsible I was to not look behind me. I was blowing off a little bit of steam. As long as you are alright. I couldn’t bear it. Excuse me, don’t go anywhere.”
Where am I supposed to go?
 A flatbed had just pulled up and Jon walked over to the driver. They talked for a couple of minutes before he jogged back to Sansa.
“Do you want to tow your car to your Fiat dealership?”
“I actually don't know what to do. I just got this car two months ago. It hasn't even gone in for its first oil change, so I don't know. My father bought it from our local dealership in Wintertown.”
“In that case, if I can impose upon you more than I already have by wreaking your car, please let me send it to my mechanic and get it taken care of for you. This was totally my fault. I think you will need to gather your belongings from your car though because they will be taking it away.”
Sansa found herself listening to him intently. He has a confidence about him. She watched as one of the tow men drove Jon’s Jeep forward off of Sansa’s now crushed car. It made her cringe when she saw the damage.
“I fear it's going to take at least a week.” Jon said “Please let me help you put everything into my jeep and I'll get you home.”
I’m surprised that I’m taking this so well. My new car is probably totaled. But this guy. I don’t know what to think. Begging and pleading with me. Then, that tone of authority in his voice. What’s up with that? And those muscles and that hair… What’s up with me? How superficial can I get? No, there was something magnetic in the touch of his hand. I couldn’t let go. And neither could he. Gods, I’m hallucinating from PTSD.
Sansa didn't realize how many books, cloth swatches, and sketch pads she had in her car. It took the two of them more than a couple of minutes to empty everything out and then settle it all into the backseat of his Jeep. She glanced at the gold embroidery on the seat covers. Sansa watched as her car was loaded onto the flatbed. Jon gave the man instructions and an address. Just then Sansa caught herself. Wait a minute. Am I crazy? Did all this just happen? And am I letting some guy just put my car on a flatbed and drive it somewhere? What is going on? Does he think I'm stupid and naïve? Is he some kind of a slick good looking con artist?
“Wait a minute. How do I know this is all cool?”
Jon looked around at her with such an apologetic look on his face. He looked worse than her brother Bran ever looked after punishment for hitting her youngest brother Rickon in the head. Sansa almost laughed because he truly looked distressed.
“I am so sorry. I know I've said this for the millionth time. I haven't even introduced myself properly. I'm John Targaryen. I work in the Parliament. Please, please excuse me. I have been nothing but absurd since this is happened.”
“No, it’s all good, sort of. I'm Sansa Stark. I'm a senior at the Fashion Institute. I was on my way to look at fabrics at Cersei's Fabric Importers when we met so unceremoniously.”
She held out her hand to Jon. They shook hands. His touch was like a magnet. He smiled at her ruefully. She smiled back, sassy. What beautiful grey eyes. This might be my lucky day. At least I got into a car accident with a polite guy with a good job.
Jon continued to hold Sansa’s hand and looked directly into her Tully blue eyes as he spoke sincerely.
“The least I can do is take you to dinner. I was on my way to my friend Sam's record store. Yeah I know, old vinyls. My day has been so trying. I needed to get Zen and usually thumbing through the vinyls chills me out. Would you like to accompany me? I certainly hope so. All your stuff is in my jeep and I still need to get you home. How about it?”
“I believe I can deal with that.”
Sansa didn't have a whole lot of choice.  She actually wasn't even sure why she said yes. She should've just called Margaery to pick her up and gone home. She still had everything to do on her senior project. He sure is a cutie pie and maybe looking at those vinyls will give me some ideas. After all, the artwork on old album covers is really amazing.
“I guess you won. You got the spot after all.”
“I didn't think it was a contest.”
“I know you're right. Sorry for that. I can get a little sarcastic when I'm hungry.”
“Then come, let me just take you to dinner immediately.”  
Those eyes oh yes, the authority in his voice and his command of himself and even his frustration with himself.
Jon offered Sansa his arm and the two of them walked down the street toward the restaurant.
“Is Chinese alright with you? How about we talk over a Kung Pao Chicken or something. It’s actually in the next block if you don't mind.”
“No I don't at all, I didn’t sustain any damage.” She replied too much of a smart ass. Still, she was enjoying her hand holding onto his muscular arm.
“Are you sure?”
“Sorry. I'm not trying to be a bitch. This just wasn't how my afternoon was supposed to end up.”
“Nor mine either. In fact, I had planned to go to Sam's first until the sun set and it got a little cooler. Then I was going to take a long hard run. That usually gets me straightened out and helps me put my mind back together.”
“Inquiring minds just have to know. What’s bugging you? I’m going crazy trying to start my senior design project but, if you work at the Parliament you must have something major on your mind.”
Is this guy about to tell me his whole life story? I mean yeah, I expect his insurance to pay for my car. Am I right or am I wrong? Those eyes those grey stormy eyes are just getting to me. I think hanging out with Margaery has pushed me over the edge. I'm getting to be as superficial as she is. By the gods I'm here. I may as well get dinner out of this. Oh yeah and the ride home!
As they walked Sansa noticed that Jon kept looking at her. He didn't seem to take his eyes off of her as if she might disappear. He is very intense, very heavy duty intense.
“So don't keep me in suspense. What’s up with you that's got you crashing into cars? You’re a danger to yourself you know as well as others.”
“Are you sure you want to hear this? It’s probably boring in comparison to your life.”
“Try me. I'm a design major. I spend all my time sewing. Nose to the grind stone and all that. Well, nose to the sewing machine actually.”
They reached the restaurant and Jon opened the door like a proper gentleman. The maître d’ appeared to know him and immediately ushered them over to a quiet table. Jon pulled Sansa’s chair out for her to sit and then sat down across from her. He took a deep breath and began to explain.
“All right. So I'm an attorney and I spend my days drafting laws. It wasn't my idea to do this. It was my father’s and in that regard, I more or less had no choice. So…
A server brought typical Chinese restaurant menus laminated in old plastic.They both studied them intently, each sneaking peeks at the other over the top. Sansa caught Jon looking at her and laughed.
“Got ya, I’m ready to order.”
Jon nodded to the server who immediately returned to their table. He looked to Sansa first. Then wrote down her order of Sichuan eggplant. Jon ordered Kung Pao Chicken. Jon continued to explain.
“…So right now I'm trying to draft a law to ensure the rights of the free people up in the area called the Gift. Are you familiar with homesteading? How if you stay on land long enough it becomes yours. It seems as though we have a lot of undocumented people that have come over our northernmost border at the Wall. They are either seeking asylum or squatter’s rights. Seven Hells, I must be boring you.”
“No, you're not boring me. You're trying to help people. I’m familiar with this political issue. It’s very controversial right now. My father is an MP from the North so, I know exactly what you're talking about.”
“Even though it’s a hot topic, I feel as though I am the only person dealing with the minutiae of these issues sometimes.”
“You're wrong. My father has been dealing with this issue for years. If you're working in Parliament then you might've heard of my father. He's Lord Eddard Stark.”
Jon's face turned absolutely red with embarrassment.
“I don't know how to say this but, I'm kind of working with your father. My father is the Prime Minister, Rhaegar Targaryen. I'm really embarrassed now.”
“No, don't be embarrassed. This is a real situation. What you're doing is for real.While I'm just flouncing around here designing expensive clothes or trying to design expensive clothes and you're trying to change the world.”
“I'm the one that's embarrassed really. You know it was easier when I was just begging your forgiveness for me crashing your car to death. Now I've crushed to death, the car of Lord Eddard’s daughter. I can't even talk now. Your father is my mentor, against my own father's wishes. Let’s look at this in a different way. Let’s just say we met under interesting circumstances and now we're having dinner together. All right?”
Jon looked intently at Sansa. She smiled back at him. The waiter brought their food and sakè. Sansa asked for chopsticks. They continued to talk as they ate.
“It’s OK, we can get through this. Come on.”
She poured the sakè into the two shot glasses and handed one to Jon. Their fingers touched and she felt that magnetic pull again. They toasted each other with a laugh. Then, took the shot like champs.
For the rest of the evening, Sansa described her designs, her inspirations and motivations, her color palettes, her thoughts, her wishes to travel, and what it was like to live up North. Jon just listened. He stared intently at her. He hung on every word she said. I never had anybody so interested in what I was doing before. He makes me feel important. He makes me feel like this has some meaning. And he keeps looking at me with those eyes those grey eyes like storm clouds. I can see the way his eyes change as he listens to me. In his eyes are the exact palette of greys I want to use. Looking in those eyes, I could make everything in my collection grey. Storm grey, lightning grey, morning grey, evening grey, every grey.
When they had finished dinner, Jon nodded to the waiter to bring the check. She noticed that Jon was old fashioned. Rather than using a card, he dug into his back pocket and pulled out a billfold and slipped a hundred into the envelope. He told the waiter to keep the change. Jon stood up quickly and came over to her chair. He pulled it out for her and offered his hand.
“Since your father is Lord Stark, then with all due respect, you are a Lady. May I escort you back to my jeep, my Lady Stark?”
 “Why, yes, you may. So, if your father is the PM, then he is a Lord? Are you a Lord?”
“No I'm just a hack.”
“Actually I doubt that. Then, you must be destined to become a Lord.”
“Destined or doomed. However you'd like to put it.”
They walked back to the car with Jon describing Sam’s album store in great detail. They stopped and looked in the windows as they went by.
“Looks like an inspiring place. I could use an inspiration at this point. Too bad its closed now.” said Sansa wearily.
“Sam closes early during the week. It’s a brilliant weekend hangout. It’s even better than I can describe.”
Sansa noticed that Jon kept looking over at her. Their eyes met, they both smiled shyly. When they got to his Jeep, Jon had to lift her up to get in. It was so high above the ground. He lifted her up onto the running board, helped her get seated and leaned in so close to buckle the triple harness as they were riding without a roof. Only a roll bar. Then he jumped in the other side and buckled up. Even in the growing darkness, Sansa appraised the Jeep again. Her eyes caught on the design of the golden dragon on the dash. That was the same as the golden embroidery on the seats, she had glanced at earlier.
“Hey, this is a 2014 Black Dragon!”
“Yes it is that. My pride and joy until of course our disaster! I’m so embarrassed. Remember I'm going to get that all taken care of. OK? Now tell me how to get you home or are we going to drive around all night aimlessly.”
Those eyes and a sense of humor, brain and the heart too. This is some guy.
Sansa gave Jon directions all the way to her apartment on the other side of Kings Landing. Jon parked and got out to help her out of the jeep. She was able to unbuckle the triple harness. He reached up and lifted her out and down to the ground. They stood there for a moment his hands on her waist. The magnetic pull was apparent for both of them.
“This is been quite a new experience for me” Sansa remarked breathing in Jon’s cologne again. I hope I still smell of my Santorini Vine, so he thinks I have some panache.
“This has certainly been an eventful evening and again I'm sorry my car ate your car. My Dragon ate your Snowflake. I don’t know if that’s funny or sad.”
“It’s all right. It’s all right. I'm sure we'll get it sorted out.”
Jon helped Sansa get all of her things out of the back of his Jeep and walked with her to the door carrying most of her belongings. She had to balance a couple of things on her knee trying to get the key out of her Speedy to open the door.
“Please allow me.”
“Ok.” she said and handed him the key.
Jon unlocked the door, still holding her stuff and pushed the door open with his knee. He allowed Sansa to enter and followed her into foyer of her apartment.
“You can just put everything down here. I’ll figure it out in the morning.
“Thanks for understanding,” Jon said. “I have to go, I believe I still need that run.”
With that, he loped back to his Jeep and gunned it out of sight. Sansa felt exhausted and walked upstairs to her bedroom. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes. All she could see were Jon's eyes, their shifting palette of grey. She couldn't get that out of her mind.