Jon's Confession
Snow was falling as Jon and Sansa walked out onto the high battlements of Winterfell to talk. It was freezing, but this was the only place to talk in confidence. It was also home, where they had run along these ramparts as children. Jon hoped this would give him courage to really speak to her. Snowflakes were starting to gather on Sansa's hair and eyelashes. Jon wanted to reach up and brush them away, but he was sure that neither of them were ready for that.
“Sansa, I want to tell you something. I’m not good with words that aren’t orders. Please understand.”
“Jon, of course, what is it?”
“When we were discussing the battle with Ramsey, I promised to protect you. You said "No one could protect you." When you said that something inside me began to twist into a knot. I’d like to say something like…… it broke my heart but, it was a tightness not a shattering.”
“I didn’t say it to hurt you. I was so afraid. I couldn’t go back to Ramsey.”
“I wanted to tell you that I would tear him apart for you. I would stand against him with no armies behind me. For you. I was determined to take back Winterfell and hand it to you. Just to see a small bit of happiness return to your eyes.”
“I wanted our home back. Ramsey was a monster. I wanted to pray but I think I have forgotten how.”
“The only prayer I know is you.”
There was so much more he wanted to say. It just wouldn’t come. He was hesitant, wondering how this new mix of feelings might sound to Sansa. Instead it ran over and over in his head as they stood there quietly watching the snow…….
“Sansa, you are my Winterfell. When I drew my sword, it was for you. Each man I killed was for you. Breaching the gate, was for you. I might have pounded Ramsey to a bloody pulp over you. But, he didn’t belong to me to kill. Father said “The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.” He was yours to do with as you pleased. So I stopped, before I killed him in my rage for every pain he caused you.
This is all for you. Unfurl every banner, hang the Direwolf high. I would rebuild every wall, stone by stone with my bare hands for you. I will restore every keep and place a fire in every hearth so you never feel the cold again. I wish it possible to turn back the moons and fix our histories. Our family should never have left. But, that was not our fate.
I ask you again, to accept my promise to keep you safe. No man will ever touch you without your consent. You don’t even realize what you are to me. You are my home. You are my life now. Standing here with you is a dream, I never thought would come true. I beg you to trust me, as your brother, your sworn sword and as the one who lives for your every smile, your every look.
Why did I even come back? I don’t know. But when you arrived at Castle Black, I knew where my future lay. With you. I will not leave you. You hold my heart in your hands. I know not the future nor will I try to predict. For this perfect moment know that I am yours, however you shall have me. I stand here with the Lady of Winterfell. Let it be known, the Bastard of Winterfell has taken back their home for his Lady.
headcanon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete