Confession In The Lord's Chamber
Maybe it was a trick of the light, but something in Sansa’s eyes changed. Their blue seemed to shift like water caught in a current, then lay calm. She looked wistful as if she was remembering something precious. Sansa seemed to be about to speak. Jon reached up and touched her cheek. Her hand intuitively covered his, their fingers intertwining.
“Come my Lady, it is too cold for even us Northerners.
“Yes, you are right. Come with me to the Lord’s Chambers. We have much to say to each other.”
Sansa tightened her grip on Jon’s hand and pulled him inside through the dimly lit halls toward the chamber he had insisted she claim as Lady of Winterfell. Inside the fire was mere embers.
“Allow me to rebuild the fire. You should never be cold.”
Sansa reluctantly released his hand and went to the table in the middle of the room to pour some wine for each of them. Jon added logs from the stone hearth and stoked the fire until it roared. When he finished, he turned back to Sansa. She had removed her wet cloak and was standing there in his favorite dress, the one with the embroidered Dire wolf on the bodice. He shrugged off his cloak and hung it onto a hook next to hers. They matched. She handed him the goblet and motioned for him to sit beside her near the fire.
“Your eyes belie you. What is troubling you, that I may challenge it?”
“Jon… I believe we must speak our truths now, before I am unable to say this to you and the moment is lost, never to be recovered. We both want what we should not have.”
“It is undeniable and we must speak it. You know, I wish never to hurt you. I would die over and over at the hands of every traitor before I let anyone touch you. I challenged Ramsey, man to man, sword to sword, bastard to bastard just to have the satisfaction of killing him to avenge your honor.”
“I know along of the cords of my heart what you need to say to me. It is in mine as well. Are we not beyond right and wrong, after all we have endured? You are all that I have. Yes, we have our home. You have defied the world for me.”
“You speak true. What I need to say to you will escape me, if I do not let it out. Sansa, you alone are my Winterfell. I am your warrior. I am yours. You hold the world in your hands as well as my heart.”
“And you rebuilt my broken heart piece by piece. So gently. I am lost to the depth of my need for you.”
“Need you say…..? What of family, honor, duty? What of love? I am your brother, though only half. Snow, Stark none the less. Blood.”
“Fate makes fools of us both.”
“How can I love you? Is that what you ask? Have I not rode with you into the battle to face Ramsey? Have I not been with you every step of this journey home? Have I not stood beside you as your Lady, my King? You are home to me. It is your presence, your promise to protect me, that makes our home again. Not just the hanging of our sigil. The banners are hung now and the Direwolf flies from the battlements. If there's any place in this world where I can be safe, it is here with you. Not just with you, but in your arms. Remember the way it felt when you held me at Castle Black? That was the first time in so long, that I felt safe. I could hardly admit it, not even to myself. I didn't know how to allow myself the luxury of thinking I might be safe. And I didn't know how to tell you, that only you could keep me safe. I didn't have the words.”
“Do you not realize, you are my Winterfell? Without you, everything I have done is meaningless. I will never leave you. I promise. You have given me a reason to rise up and live, to love you. True born you are, MY Lady of Winterfell. I know you made me King in the North. Only love makes a bastard into a king. I can do nothing without you. You must give me your hand before the heart tree. Swear to be mine as I have sworn every night, through all of this, that I am yours.”
“All this time, all I wanted was to be yours.”
“So, it shall be, fates be damned.”
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