Lurking For Love Part 2

Lurking For Love

Part 2

Amorcito, you believe yourself inscrutable

But, reveal unwittingly with every gesture

How you pull your hand through your hair

Carefully straighten your Ray-Bans

Stir your tea and ransack my blog

For a stray wisp of our past

Alive in the verbiage 

This is a love letter to our history

Now only geography separates us

The fear of being found    found out

Found just as wanting and lonely

The implication of always

Carrying your passport, £s, €s, and $s

Just in case

In geo-synchronous time,

I watch you discover each reference

Chittenango Falls, Cazenovia Lake

The Waldorf Astoria, dinner in Tribeca

That smile quirks like Elvis

Looking up from your laptop

To face the park   expecting

Distance to magically waver in the summer heat

Waiting for me to pixilate 

Back into your life

Lurking For Love Part 1

Lurking For Love

Part 1

I know you’re sitting there

Facing the Place du Dauphine

In a faded wicker chair outside

@ Restaurant Paul    48.856286° N   2.342415° E

With your Earl Grey and honey

Scent of bergamot overwhelms

And surrounds

Ever so a caress you pull the bookmark

Feeling the pulse of your heart  

In your fingers   today

Today you whisper to yourself

Something will be there   longing

For a memento of our past

In the symbols on these pages

Slowly reading today’s entry

Word for precious word

Touching the screen

Like a familiar Braille

You decode each image   phrase

Line break searching

For a clue 

Study In Black & White

Do you realize that it has been 160 days since Hurricane Maria made landfall in Puerto Rico and power is only at 84.60% for all subscribers. What is up with that???

Love Those Teeth

One of my favorite things is to answer the door wearing this mask when a bothersome sales person just happens to drop by to give me a free estimate on a new roof or something. Oh, yes I have....

Will's letter - Me Before You & corresponding Solstice 35 Vignette

Michael was truly losing it. In the smallest of ways, something subtle was off, out of synch. When Grazi really listened to his rants, she could tell something wasn't right. But not what, exactly. She tried to explain to her cousin Maritsa.When we were first together we used to go to Paris on long weekends. We always went to Restaurant Paul on the Place Dauphine. It’s Michael’s favorite.  A few years ago, when we were apart, I wrote two poems referencing the resturant as a backdrop of sorts. They were kind of an inside joke. I knew that Michael was working in Paris and reading my blog. But, he wouldn't respond to my phone calls or emails. He was just lurking on my blog. I knew it and I knew that he knew, I knew..... you know? This was about 2011. So, I wrote these two poems called Lurking For Love and even used an old photo of Resturant Paul, to see if he would respond. Actually, I was kind of desperate. I was really desperate. Of course, it worked and we got back in touch.

Now the point is, on Saturday, Michael and I went to see the movie 'Me Before You'. Now it just so happens, that Restaurant Paul was one of the main character's, who's a paraplegic by the way, favorite places and its a very dramatic and endearing movie. In the end, it's tragic because the young woman, his care giver, who fell in love with him tries to convince him not to kill himself, but of course he does. In the end, she’s in Paris and she is reading his love letter at The Paul. But, that's not the point though. That was the trigger.

All of a sudden, in the theater, Michael starts saying that I did this. You did this. he's fuming at he. Right as we're watching the movie. Of course, he's getting loud by the ending, when it was so quiet in the whole place, because the girl is reading this poignant letter. And he started ranting. Gracias a Dios, we were in Bayamon and with his Scottish brogue, nobody could figure out what he was saying. He just went on and on. Why did you bring me to this movie. You did this. How did you get this bit of our lives on there? This is nobody's business but ours. I told you, this is what happens when you make private lives public. You think nobody reads your blog. Obviously somebody does. Now they have stolen one of our memories. How dare you do this. This is what happens when you write about our lives. See what people do! See how ruthless people are in this world, that they would take a little grain of lovely truth and turn it inside out like an umbrella in a storm. And they show it to the world. So there it is, memorialized forever. It should be you sitting there reading my love letters, instead you're selfishly reading your own work, having your favorite cup of tea. I keep on telling you about this. I keep telling you that every word you put into your blog goes out into the world of the net and it gets corrupted. It gets used against you, gets so fucked up. It turns our lives upside down and inside out and it makes me crazy. Don't you understand that you're making me crazy? Don't you understand what you are doing to me. Don't you understand that every time you write a new poem, publish it, do a reading, all that shit you do to sell books and keep your tenure..... you read our lives to people. They can see like an X-ray into my heart. How can you keep doing this to me? How do I let you keep doing this to me. Letting you put my life on exhibition?

The Wrong Side of History || Gun Violence... It's Time to Talk About It

How The Breeze Catches

Cómo se mueve la brisa los vestidos de las niñas. 

How the breeze catches the little girls' dresses.

Catch The Light

How do you catch the light like that? he asked.

You're the mathematician. I'm only a poet. Isn't this just a photoelectric effect? Aren't these just dancing atoms from missing wavelengths?

I thought your answer would be something more esoteric. Like the gods or spirits dancing.

I think it's some kind of duality. I'd rather not question it, just enjoy it.

If You Could....

           

If you could stand with me. Something as simple as ten toes and leather sandals to prove the test of time. Could this be immortality?

Los Pies Del Santo

                            

He couldn't understand why she took photos of the feet; why the sandals were so important. Love isn't always demonstrated in the grand scale, she sighed. Love is in the most minute of details. It's in the ability to remember just how a person stood, bearing weight on the right foot when they listened, really listened to what you had to say. Left foot poised to step closer, to take you in their arms.

JONSA in the hot tub au

Murcielagos

Night falls so quickly as one approaches the Tropic of Cancer. High above the ocean, the sun dropped and clouds revealed the moon. Murcielagos, murcielagos, mi primo yelled to us. Ya vienen pa' comer los aguacates.... corre, corre, con prisa. Ahora viene Mami. Me voy de aquí.

My cousins and I ran so fast. My aunt was coming.... which meant that she had seen us playing out in the fields, chasing her chickens. The bats were leaving the caves at sundown for their dinner and my cousin was out of there before he got into trouble!

Vejigante Mask - Ponce Puerto Rico

                    

I collect Vejigante masks. They are hung all over my home. These masks are worn during Carnival celebrations in Ponce, Puerto Rico.  The masks are constructed by hand using papier-mâché which is then meticulously painted by craft masters. They are exquisite and amazing works of art. 

Pineapple

       

I grew up on a pineapple farm. Manati, Puerto Rico has the sweetest pineapples/piñas in the world. My dad's plantation (not a PC word today) supplied fruit to most of the hotels in San Juan and Dorado. Ironically, I have been to most of the hotels but, through the service entrance. My dad said that he could always tell how good a hotel was by how clean or smelly their service entrance and kitchens were on a day to day basis. Funny, I have been in huge storage refrigerators up and down the whole Condado.  

BTW: This is what a pineapple plant looks like. You can google the whole growing process. It's quite involved. The mature pineapple is cut out of a huge spiny bush with a machete. It is still done that way today. (These are only babies in the photo.)

The Descent - Chapter IX Monument Valley

                      

She and the girls crushed Monument Valley. They played together on the plane on the way. Her favorite was Chapter IX - The Descent..... in which..... there is nobody left to forgive us. 

 

Ida encounters a ghost on her journey who tells her of their tragedy.......

Long ages lie heavy on old bones in these burried halls. Sacred geometry was our pride, our downfall. But forever will our monuments stand in this valley. 

Orchids

When the orchids fell, they took root. At least the orchids were alive. They would last.

It has been 153 Days since Hurricane Maria made landfall & 167 Days since Hurricane Irma made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico.

Roses & Orchids

She hated cut flowers. When the roses arrived, she cringed. Dutifully, she placed them in crystal vases, waiting for him to come home and approve. Quietly, she watched as he carried the largest into the bedroom and placed it on the dresser. There, he said, now you can see it every morning while I'm away. 

Secretly, she pictured Morticia Addams cutting the heads off the roses and placing the the stems in the vase. The thorns were more appropriate. The roses would open and die away but, the thorns would remain and sharpen with age.

She hoped that next time, he would just bring her an orchid plant. That would live as long as she cared for it.

At Last The Sky Broke Open

                             

Windblown against the storm, she walked on. One by one she dropped the orchids, leaving a path. The clouds above her became the earth. At last the sky broke open. Emptyhanded, she didn't care. She was home.

She Thought..................

She thought love would last. She thought, like the lyrics of that disco song..... if I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby, if I can't have you......

Only We Can Share

                             

Once you asked me why I took so many photos of angels. So I told you my secret......because I'll never be one what's why. But, you're my angel, you insisted. I'm not your angel, my love. I'm your hell, just as you are mine. No matter how many pictures I take. No matter how many you enshrine on the walls. It's a beautiful hell, isn't it? One only we can share.

Blueshifting: Count Up

                                              

It has been 150 Days since Hurricane Maria made landfall & 164 Days since Hurricane Irma made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico.

3 Graces

You surprised me with your patience while I photographed the city over and over again. You surprised me when you framed your favorites for your office. You let me surround you, immerse you with my art. Just the way you engulf my life with your need for my every breath, my every heart beat to call your own.

Vignette From Solstice 35

Vignette from Solstice 35
I am a great artist and I know it. The reason I am great is because of all the suffering I have done. (Paul Gauguin)

Pieces, that's all she had left. A million pieces of her life strewn everywhere. It was like breaking one of your favorite mugs and all of the shards were scattered across the floor. Some stayed beneath your feet for you to step on immediately, some hidden under the counters or random pieces of furniture for you to discover later. Some pieces just disappeared forever. Maybe they were pulverized by the impact against the tile or they were so obvious they were impossible to see. Later on, when you'd forgotten them, walking barefoot in the kitchen one morning making tea, you'd step on a sharp piece and it would go right through the bottom of you foot leaving a bloody gash.

Now, I'm going to put 35 of these pieces on display for all the world to read. I'm even going to read some of these poems tonight to give them voice in the universe. I keep telling myself this is art, meaningful writing. I wonder if it isn't just my punishment. Do I really believe that great art comes from great pain and suffering like Gauguin? Or am I just a masochist? Or just plain fucked up and deserved all of this? Shit, all I know is that the writing is fucking fantastic.

Yellow/Amarillo

After the tourists go back on their ships, I find an empty street. I can think for a moment. Feel the sun. Enjoy the colors. A moment like this is a secret I hold to myself. I walk home alone, singing to myself.

This Is Why I Don't Teach English Anymore.......

Yes, I had to confront a violent situation that happened last year. A student was escorted from our school building due to the inability to comply with our rules and regulations. Unfortunately, once out of the building, he stabbed a classmate in front of the building. Crime scene tape. I never thought I'd see it at a school where I worked. The facade of safety broke like a pane of class, never to be reassembled. Now, I just teach and coach swimming. At least I know that I'm safe. My heart is broken for all of those people who cannot make those changes to work or attend school in safe environments on a daily basis.

Daily Count Up - Santa Maria Magdalena Del Pazzis Cemetery

It has been 148 Days since Hurricane Maria made landfall & 162 Days since Hurricane Irma made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico.

Slice Of Beach

There are too many places where I can still find your your footsteps next to mine. Too many memories tossed aside like Medalla cans around small bonfires. Even if the tide sweeps them away, my heart brings them back.

These photos and prose are the beginnings of vignettes of my novel SOLSTICE 35.

El Yunque Camo

Daily Count Up

It has been 147 Days since Hurricane Maria made landfall & 161 Days since Hurricane Irma made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico.

You Want It......I Got It

You Got It         by Roy Orbison


Every time I look into your lovely eyes

I see a love that money just can't buy
One look from you, I drift away
I pray that you are here to stay

Anything you want, you got it
Anything you need, you got it
Anything at all, you got it
Baby

Every time I hold you, I begin to understand
Everything about you tells me I'm your man
I live my life to be with you
No one can do the things you do

Anything you want, you got it
Anything you need, you got it
Anything at all, you got it
Baby

I Watch You Watching Me

you forget
because you don't
want to remember
i can see   you
think i don't
read the daily stats
as usual mistaken
one of us is
tech-savy
one of us
still drunk
on the wish for
anonymity
peek - a - boo
i see you

Even Angels Take Naps

It has been 146 Days since Hurricane Maria made landfall & 160 Days since Hurricane Irma made landfall on the island of Puerto Rico.

Even The Lilies

You brought me the lilies out of love. How could I tell you they made me sad. So beautiful. They're perennials, you reminded. I know, I whispered. I know. Your lilies bloom for me every year. They taunt me in your absence. They smell of nothing. They smell of death.

Full Moon Of Rust And Gold

Sailing The Full Moon On The Bahia Of San Juan

Night of the full moon, we sail the bay. Quiet on the cat, we lay caught in the net, caught in each other's arms. Gliding in the wake.

La Plazuela De La Rogativa

Table For Two

Feed me from your plate. Let me kiss the tips of your fingers. Slide your bare foot up my leg. Make the waiter nervous. Call for the check, now. I can't wait.

Somos Americanos En Puerto Rico

El Yunque Flor Tropical

Knock On My Door

Come Climb Through My Window

Poetic License

tender bruise of sky

you give me     in exchange

for a kiss

high on the wall

at sunset     swift

wind catches

my dress    catch me

I'm falling fast